Kissing Frogs

Okay.. so I've been avoiding writing about this cause its a little personal to me, but then I figured what the hell do I have a blog if Im not ever gonna write about whats on my mind eh? and what have I got to hide? so anyway, here it is, I kinda fell hard for a boy this past month.. yea... didnt mean too, but I can never seem to help these things. I meet him in July, He was sweet and respectful and seemed like everything I needed. I thought I might have finally found someone worth sticking around for, I thought perhaps this time it will be different. I tried to be catious at first but he seemed to let me in so fast and everytime he gently touched me I would melt... I know, I know.. Im such a girl.. what can I say? we all just want to be loved and I had all but made up my mind that It wasnt for me.. and then there he was and I let my guard down. there I was hopeful and happy and scared all at the same time. but then something happened, almost as fast as he let me in he shut me out and Im not sure why but it didnt work out.. I blamed myself for awhile, I felt like shit for awhile, but for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be. I'm not saying its not confusing and dissapointing, Ive been thinking about him and the time we spent together and trying to figure out what went wrong, what I did wrong.. What he did wrong... but its really just a waste of time. I'm Moving on and just focusing on myself again. Im a fairly independent person and I've never really felt that I needed to be in a relationship to be complete, it just hurts a bit right now when I hear love songs or see sappy movies.. in true female form my heart twists a bit.

Damn.. it feels good to get it off my chest though, one thing I have learned about my heart over the years is that it is resilient. I still have hope that theres someone special out there for me I guess, I just wish I didnt have to kiss so many frogs... haha.