“And suddenly you know: It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
― Meister Eckhart
Suddenly and unexpectedly there has been some big transitions in my life.
I planned on moving away to NC last summer and I planned on moving back to Breckenridge when it didn't work out the way I had hoped, But I didn't plan on this.
I have worked at the same studio for 7 years, so when I wrote to tell them I was coming back they were overjoyed and welcomed me back instantly even though I was only gone for a month and a half. I came back and resumed working there like normal but things in the company had started to shift and not for the better. Everyone was unhappy and constantly complaining about the management. The atmosphere was tense and disconcerting. It never used to be that way, it was usually fun and drama free. It began to make me feel weird.
So, I have been working since I was 16 and have never left a job on bad terms. I pride myself on my work ethic and being a solid and dependable worker. My parents were shinning examples of hard workers with integrity and trustworthiness so I've always done my best to honor those principles. Little did I know there was devious forces at work bent on sabotaging and telling lies about me. I'm not exactly sure why this poisonous hateful person targeted me, I've never known someone could be so vindictive and evil. I had trained this person as a new hire earlier this year and while I was gone she was promoted to desk manager. At first it seemed like a good fit but as the weeks went by she became passive aggressive and began micro-managing everything and everyone. She started harassing me on a regular basis with phone calls and emails and making veiled threats.Without going into the details of her treachery towards me and the lies she was telling the owner, I'll just say I had to leave my job.
I was devastated and stunned. I kept going over it and trying to figure out what had happened and how someone could be such an unconscionable liar. I was angry and wanting vindication at first. but after realizing it was not the same company anymore, because it came under new ownership a year ago and new management this year and they were not good people like I had worked for the previous 6 years in fact the new owner and manager were unethical and awful. I began to realize I was glad not to work for people like that and focused my energy on finding a new and better job.
As it happens I have landed in an idealistic situation. The timing was perfect and it was serendipitous that I found my new job which includes a more respectful and professional environment, more opportunity for advancement, better hours and a hefty raise. I couldn't be happier!
For the past year or so I couldn't shake this feeling of imbalance and feeling stuck, it didn't occur to me it had anything to do with my job because I've always enjoyed my work, but I see now that the environment I was in grew increasingly more toxic to me. I didn't realize I needed to practice my profession in a different way and that I had outgrown the studio I was in. It's almost like the universe knew what I needed and gave me a push... Well it was more like a kick in the pants, but it got me unstuck and I am genuinely grateful for the new beginnings that have come from it.
At first all I could see was the loss and betrayal and everything spinning out of control but once I decided to pick myself up by my boot straps and start again and leave the negativity behind me I started focusing on my strengths and inner resources I realized you can't keep a good woman down. I've been knocked down so many times in my life it is easy to lay there and feel defeated, which I have, sometimes it takes a little longer to recover but as long as there is life there is hope. So, I will hope for better things and fight for bigger dreams.
This whole experience, while painful, has made me find the courage I had lost and made me realize I will always land on my feet...because I choose to. And I will try not to fear endings because they can lead to magical beginnings.
