The butterfly assassin

I cant explain it really...

I knew it was a risk from the moment I met him but something was there, a seldom felt flutter.
There were warnings and there were cautions but there was laughter and warmth as well.
After a little while the sleeping butterflies were awakened in my stomach and something told me everything would work out fine... eventually.
Patience was never an easy thing for me but I wanted to cultivate it and I knew it would be worth it
well I'm still trying, wondering... missing.
hoping it hasn't all disappeared from me forever, struggling with the absence and the silence.
And then I saw her, the reason he is gone from me now but the reason he entered my life as well. I almost ran into her at the post office coming around a corner, and when I looked up there she was.
What a strange encounter. A stranger to me could be such a source of pain. My stomach dropped as if all the butterflies had just died. murdered by the reality of her. She was pretty and friendly looking, a part of me wanted to befriend this ominous creature. I'm not sure why except to maybe to turn the monster into a puppy or something less sinister.
I looked at myself and saw someone much less important, foolish really to think 3 months can hold a candle to all those years but the truth remains that I want to hold a candle, I want to be his silver lining and erase the hurt she caused... but I guess only time will tell if I will get the chance.