Wait.

Have I lost sight of myself? Have I been living in a pipe dream again or should I hang on to hope white knuckled until the day I die?
There are no guarantees in life as you have said, but the experience of you is other then my life thus far.
I have only recently questioned my resolve to grin and bare because I'm scared of where it may lead me.
The longer you are away, the more detached I feel from your priorities..
I do not question your honor or love for me but time can be a fickle thing.
Loss and disappointment are no strangers to me,
but losing you would be the destruction of all my dreams...
or whats left of them now.
I have been in the darkest tombs and felt the coldest nights, losing you would be too dark and too cold to bare.

I fear. Alone. again.

 My world is secluded as she is secluded and weathered as she has weathered,
every year I hear her voice in mine. I feel her strength.
 I cry her tears....
Too soon, to soon to slip into the final curtain of this lonely heartbreaking life.
I have not felt beloved. I have not walked down an isle with flowers in my hands, I have not felt my life as shared or redeemed in any way. I have had no family of my own,
would that I could give that to her, to myself. Would that life could somehow return to us.
A new story could begin to be written to overshadow the broken and tragic one left on our skin,
in our eyes and buried in our hearts.
With every melting fiber of my being I pray.
I pray prayers with no foreseen destination,
Only with a desperation that my existence may finally resolve itself in death or connect itself to life.

My choice is made. Wait.